Before he was born, I knew he was something special. Although I cried and wept and sobbed, I remembered the Lord had a plan for it all.
A vegetable, abort him. He’ll have no life. Yours’ will be miserable and full of strife. We had no choice. This child God gave us was a blessing from above and we carried on because of this love.
His birth was a struggle. His new life was tough. Needles invaded his little body and every breath taken was given.
I never held him for he was whisked away. I touched him just once and then he was gone. The journey began; no turning back, no time to sway. Life’s lessons began that day.
At five days, a surgery. I learned about faith.
At four weeks, a clinical, seven minute death. I learned of God’s grace and of miracles and heard a promise made to God.
At three months, more problems, more surgeries; I learned so much patience.
At six months, another surgery. I remembered that promise and saw it fulfilled as a man came back into God’s will. I learned about friends who wouldn’t leave my side and of a husband who cared more than I realized.
At seven months, he was physically too far behind. I became a teacher, a physical therapist and a nurse all at the same time.
The doctors called. Without this surgery he’ll have no life at all. Metal plates they said, to shape the bones in his head.
Eight hours the first, fifteen the second, my nineteen month old son I placed in God’s hands.
His hair all shaved and his face swollen shut, this little boy taught me about guts. He couldn’t see us but knew we were there and he raised his hand and waved it in the air. High five was the sign and it made me cry and I knew he would be just fine.
Two years old, to school I let him go. My heart broke and I didn’t understand. My husband reached out and took me by the hand. He said, not everyone is blessed with a child like this. God must trust us and he gave me a kiss. He said, what if someone else had him? Would he be hurting or would he be gone?
Life’s not been easy. It’s been kind of lonely, but God is with me. He’s never left my side and constantly, constantly with him I’ll abide.
Another call; if he is to walk, fix the gap in his back. One, two times- little legs found life and little feet gained ground.
At three, four and five, more surgeries, more struggles. Thank goodness for Daddy who became his buddy. He became his toy, his number one man and at five every evening by the window would Little Ed stand.
Many miracles, countless miracles, brought this boy so very far.
His vision was failing, going to loose it all. I thank God for guiding the hand that held the scalpel that saved his sight.
Illness after illness tried to steal his life but the fight was there, and he’s still here.
Seasons came and then they went.
He was too small, he’ll need help if he’s to grow tall. One solution caused more pain: broken bones, too many to count. Scars crisscross his body but I am not sad, for they are symbols of victorious adventures never thought to be had.
He’s not tall nor is he fast; can’t ride a bike nor play ball. Too many people, they say we should be sad. Oh! If they truly knew. He can ride a horse and do karate. He can make the hardest heart smile and the sternest face laugh and to help someone out, he would walk a mile.
He’s smart as a whip; too smart for his own good. Exploding glass, bursting oil and things taken apart have often cost us our patience and taken years from our hearts.
We’re far from the average level, but we’re making great strides.
For a baby with no chance at all, he made it and was deemed handicapped but he changed a lot feelings and he changed a lot of lives and things came together like a million piece puzzle placed by God.
Would I change his life or do things differently? Do I regret choices made or wish hurts could be erased? Ed’s part of my inspiration, my goals and my strength. Without him, our world would be a boring, dull and uneventful place. Life would be bland. This is why he is my “Handicapable Son”.
Subject: My Handicapable son ( written about me by my mom) 
24/3/2010, 8:25 pm
